Hot Toys November 2009
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I was married over 13 years and together with Mr. Ex for 15.
I was a mere 23 when I met him. And once we met, that was it for me. I turned off the flirting/guys/dating/opposite sex interest for at least the next decade.
Then, earlier this year at the ripe age of 37, I turned it all on again.
Or at least I dusted it off, re-connected the power and plugged it in again.
It sputtered, but eventually came to life.
At least it worked.
In a mechanical sense.
But as far as the strategy, the art and the knowing – I was pretty darn rusty.
For instance, I smile a lot. Like big smiles. I’m not a super-duper-happy-smiley person but I do smile and laugh a lot. (My Uncle Harvey was my orthodontist when I was a kid, and he did a great job. So I like to smile and show the teeth.) That may be a sign to some guys that I am really interested when in fact I am not.
I’m also a girl who is very into and passionate about some things that are more traditionally “Guy Territory.” Again, signs that mean something I don’t intend for them to mean.
Example 1: I am a HUGE football fan. Have been one for life, since I was young. There was no – nor has there ever been – any strategy in this, though girls have consistently asked me over the years “Do you like football so that guys will like you?”
Whatever….you can really only pretend you like something so much. If you don’t really like or “get” it, you will be found out very quickly.
Example 2: I am a diehard Howard Stern fan. Yea, that Howard Stern. I am not going to go into the “whys” or defend him. Suffice it to say, I am in the minority there as far as the male/female ratio. So whenever I find someone with whom to talk all things Howard, chances are that that someone is a “he.”
There are others, but you get the idea.
So as I continue in these areas of interest (I really don’t have many hobbies, so football and Howard Stern cover just about most of the free time I have…), I am in contact with many members of the opposite sex.
Which in and of itself isn’t something new or earth-shattering.
Except that now I give off the “vibe.”
The Single Vibe.
For 15 years, no one so much even looked my way.
Now, everywhere I go, guys are smiling, talking, nodding and, yes, starting with me. Asking for my number, and my email, and my Facebook friendship and my twitter name.
It’s kind of weird. And kind of fun. And did I say weird?
And while in the technical sense it is “flirting,” to me it is more of a re-entrance. Into the Land of the Single.
While others may see me or my interests or my big freakin smile as a reason to go on “Flirt Alert,” and while I initially worried about how my personality would be perceived by “others” (whomever they are..), I’ve decided not to change a thing about my personality and or my interests or even my vibe.
Like me or not, take me seriously or not, call it flirting or not — I don’t really care. I know who I am. Those who know me and love me know who I am. And if it matters, new people will get to know the real me.
Or not.
So am I a flirt? Definitely not.
Do I know how to flirt? I’m like a 6.5 on a scale of 1-10.
Do I have the vibe? Oh yea.
Am I learning more every day? You tell me….
