Hot Toys November 2009
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Dating … What’s That?
Isn’t it nice when you are married so that you don’t have to follow any dating rules? You go to dinner with your wife and … open the door? Don’t open the door. Does it really matter? I mean she has to go home with you, right? So there you are, at the movies with your wife. There is no wondering if she will grab your hand, or wondering if you should put your hands on her leg? Either way, she is going home with you.
Then there is that first kiss. When you are married and you go out, you probably don’t even care about a kiss as you are so excited that you actually got a free night to go out away from the kids. Then there is sex. As a husband, you know you are going to get it at least once a week, depending on how good you close the deal, or how many credits you earn for your weekly sex quota.
That was then……this is now! Wake up people, you are single again!
The sheer terror of putting yourself out there again gives you hives as you have to now worry about all those “first date” rules all over again. Then you think back to all those first dates from high school. Did I mention that high school (remember… the last time you actually had a first date?) was over 20 years ago? Guess what newly divorced people? The rules have changed. Well, not all of the rules.
First, you have to put yourself back out on the market. Remember the market? You know where you buy all your meat? That’s right. I said it! Because that is how we feel sometimes when we come to the realization that we are now on the open market. How do we do that? Well you can put yourself on Craigslist. Just wait till you get all the crazy responses from your post. It is actually quite funny, but it gets old quick.
Then there is online dating. This didn’t existing when we were kids, but it seems to be all the rage now. Listen, for $30/month, you can be entertained with all your matches that the computer thinks would be a good match for you. There are tons of websites, even some free ones. But be prepared that you get what you pay for. If you shell out much more dough, you could be signing up for a matchmaking service. Starting at about $1500 per year, they will set you up with blind dates at restaurants and all you really have to do is to show up.
You could meet someone at work, although many companies frown on you for dating at work, so if you really like the person, just keep it quiet. Hey, don’t forget having your friends fix you up. Might I suggest meeting those people at a group party, so you can get away if you find out that their last boyfriend has a long standing restraining order pending.
Are you scared yet? Don’t be! It is actually a lot of fun putting yourself out there. Remember, you can’t expect to find the right person for you, unless you are willing to try anything. In the end, it is a numbers game. As far as the rules … don’t worry. For real. If you can create a good rapport over e-mail, then the phone, you should have enough chemistry to sense that it would be ok to hold their hand or to give them a kiss.
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About The Author: Steve Garrison is a single dad of three children and an author, living in suburban Madison, Wisconsin. His life story mirrors that of many Americans. He made some poor decisions in his life, suffered emotionally and financially. Each time, he picked himself back up and tried again to make life better for himself and his children. His latest book, The Five Secrets from Oz, explores the endless possibilities that await those seeking a life change. Garrison has stayed true to his desire to want to help others and believes this book appeals to all individuals wanting to better their lives. He can be reached at garrison.stephen@gmail.com.
