Hot Toys November 2009
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Alright all you single parents out there. Pay attention! This is what you have all been waiting for. This is the answer to the question that has been eating at you since you became a single parent. “What do I do when I first start dating again?” I bet you would like to know? I bet you would like to hear that all the rules are the same and that it is just like it was in high school. Oh, that’s right; high school for some of us was 20 years ago. If you think technology has changed in the last 20 years, I’ve got some news for ya…..so have the rules for dating.
Rule Number 1: Unlike high school, you don’t have years to court, develop and turn a friendship into a relationship. In fact, the average length of a relationship in high school is less than three months. We as single parents do not have that much time to process and develop a relationship. Unfortunately, we instantly think of several things on the first date. One, do I want to have sex with this person (don’t look at me like that…you know it’s true!) Two, do they have the basic skills to be worth my energy for another date? Third, would this person be a good step-parent to my kids. That is certainly a lot to process.
Rule number 2: Sex….there I said it! People, this is kind of a big deal! If you have developed enough rapport in the beginning via the phone and e-mail, then I have no problem having sex on the first date if it feels right for both of you. This does not make you a slut, like it may have in high school. Times are different now! So, if you don’t have sex on the first date, then when? Well, that is up to both of you. Believe me ladies; we will not think any less of you if you sleep with us on the first date, especially if it feels right for both of you. I am willing to bet that it would work more in your favor then if you waited for 10 dates. The physical connection can be so powerful, but you have to be open to exploring that possibility.
Rule number 3: Meeting the kids. This is important! Do NOT bring the person home to meet the kids until you have used the “L” word. I am serious! This is sacred ground and should be taken very seriously. Kids get very confused and attached too easily and if you keep bringing people home, that is not good and certainly not fair to your kids. I have been divorced for almost four years and I have ONLY introduced 1 woman to meet my kids in that time…..1!
So that is enough for you to chew on for now. Remember these rules as you enter into this new abyss of single parent dating.
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About The Author: Steve Garrison is a single dad of three children and an author, living in suburban Madison, Wisconsin. His life story mirrors that of many Americans. He made some poor decisions in his life, suffered emotionally and financially. Each time, he picked himself back up and tried again to make life better for himself and his children. His latest book, The Five Secrets from Oz, is now available on Amazon.com., and explores the endless possibilities that await those seeking a life change. Garrison has stayed true to his desire to want to help others and believes this book appeals to all individuals wanting to better their lives. He can be reached at garrison.stephen@gmail.com.
