A couple months ago, I put everything behind me, even if I was dazzled by some of the decisions you made. I put myself on a path after our marriage. Because I felt we can easily separate. We built it, so we can take it apart, right?

You even wanted that divorce. You told me five times, ‘yes, I want a divorce’. So I gave you one more time in my life what you wanted and, not surprisingly, I was blamed by your mother that I was the actual cause for the divorce, because, I was told, that women never really mean that they want a divorce when they say they want a divorce. Not your fault, not the fact that you had cheated, laughed at me, had already a boyfriend and a realtor to explore what houses you could buy with the money your lawyer said you could squeeze out of me.

But then I know that in your mom’s life, it is always the husband’s fault. Women are flawless. So I do take her words with a grain of salt.

You were the one to take off your wedding band first. It meant so much to me that you were wearing that ring and it hurt how easy it was for you to take it off. It seemed like you were waiting for an opportunity to remove it. This event changed me. Wearing a ring is even more important for me now as a result.

I know that asking someone special to spend her life with me will be in my future and the meaning behind that question and placing a ring on someone’s finger will be unequally more important to me than it was when I put the ring on your finger. I will promise my life to someone else again, and I will commit once again everything I have to give. You have not changed me in this respect. You may have raised doubt, but I will not allow you to alter my future life more than you already have.

A few months back, I felt that you should give that engagement ring back to me. It was nothing material to me, it was a symbol for the promise I gave you and the promise you gave me. Since you broke the promise, I believed it was your moral responsibility to give the ring back. It was a gift of my love for you, and it was tied to you keeping that promise as well, which you did not.

But that ring can also interpreted as a promise that has been tarnished and disrespected by you. In that sense, it is a symbol I would not want to touch again. In a way, that diamond carried all my love for you and now it carries all the pain. In some way, keeping the ring is reflective of the person you are. You take all you can get, no matter whether it ethically belongs to you or not. It reflects the person you are.

If it was up to me, the ring should be sold and the proceeds should be donated to an institution that focuses on building lasting relationships. A church, perhaps.

Tags: Letters To A Cheating Spouse

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