There are just a few days left to ring in a new decade, so it is somewhat obvious that you will read a lot about top 10 decade lists over the next few days. And yes, there is also a top 10 Parents list – the St. Louis Today website was first to come out with such a list. Limiting an entire decade to just ten (types) of parents might be a bit difficult, so take this list with a grain of salt.

Last week, we posted an inspiring story from a father who felt the responsibility of a single parent, well sort of, when his wife went on a short trip with friends. Here is a follow up from a mother who describes her challenges when her husband went away for four days over a long weekend: “This wasn’t the first time I experienced a small glimpse of life as a single parent,” author April Klutenkamper writes. “But it was the point when I developed a sincere admiration for every parent who has ever had to raise a child on his or her own.”

Take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back … you are now a single parent. I know, what you are thinking. “Why would I pat myself on the back, this sucks!” You would be accurate with your first reaction, but let’s take a step back and quiet your mind for one second to reflect on the gift you just received.

The first thing you should do is put on the happiest face you can muster and be grateful that you NOW have a second chance to start your life over. You have been given the ultimate gift. It may not seem like it. It may seem like your heart was ripped out and your emotions and self confidence are there on the floor. As you look at your self esteem (or what’s left of it) on the floor you have a choice to make. This choice will determine the rest of your week and the rest of your life.

Let’s face it, there’s just one word that our culture bestows on a woman who unrepentantly values a career every bit as much as she values being a loving mother: the B-word.

No wonder so many women simultaneously crave and fear their ambitious goals. No wonder that high-achieving women all harbor the same dirty little secret, no matter what our backgrounds. We all struggle with socially sanctioned failure to fully and unambivalently embrace our ambition. We all have the same pernicious audio loop playing between our ears: