What to do when your child is disrespectful

[mom36]

I need help! My son has been extremely disrespectful to almost all the adults in his life these days. It started with just me, then moved on to his grandma, his aunt, and now my significant other. His behavior is unacceptable. He screams and he yells to the point that I cannot even reason with him. I will send him to his room as this gives everyone time to cool off and think, but when he comes out and we discuss his behavior, he states that he does not think that he has done anything wrong. I try to enforce that we do not yell and scream at him, therefore we do not want him to yell and scream at us. I try to talk with him about what is wrong, and there are many issues that we are dealing with together, but this disrespect is becoming a serious problem. I will be taking him to a psychologist, but I sure would love to hear any advice that you may have.

[MotherL]

May I ask how old he is? Did anything major happen in your family right before this new behavior, like a new school or a new person becoming part of the family, a loss perhaps?

If he's a teen and nothing at all has changed, just him, that's a toughie bc that's such a hard age. They think we are their enemies all the time and it's scary bc we feel they're growing farther and farther away from us. Even the logical calm talking doesn't seem to do the trick. From my own personal experience the advice I would give is to take your lead from them. See what they're thinking about or what's going on in their life for clues and when he speaks in that really mean way, I'd walk away and instruct others to do the same. He knows you disapprove. Perhaps just tell him since he won't respect your request to be spoken to in a civil manner, that you will just be leaving the room when he does that. Also, remember to tell him however that you will always be available, 24/7 to have a decent conversation.

[mom36]

Thanks for your comments and advice. Sorry, I forgot to say that my son is 10 years old. There are many family issues that we are dealing with and have been dealing with for quite some time...I won't go into the details here....but the disrespect is a recent issue. I like your advice about walking away and always reminding him that I am here 24/7 for him. Thanks!

[monica]

did you try some special events? perhaps you can regularly do special things, go out and do things you all like? It worked for me, it brought much more understanding for each other in relationships.