Merging Toys

[sara10]

I really need some advice about what to do to help my children transition from a single-parent family, which is what they have been in for the past 5 years, to a combined family. My significant other and I are planning our future together and how to help the children with the transition. His children spend a significant amount of time in my home. They have brought many of their toys over here and they play with my children's toys as well. Their toys inadvertently get mixed up or taken apart (especially Legos) and this tends to cause a lot of stress for all of them. I always have taught my children that we always need to share our things, but is this the right way to handle it? Should we try to keep their toys and belongings separate? I would love to know how others have handled this kind of situation.

[irene58]

Your situation sounds like the exact one that my daughter went through a few months ago. You have to come up with creative solutions sometimes. What they did was have each child choose their most special items or toys and those were the ones that were "off limits" to anyone else, unless they asked permission to play with it. The other toys were shared by all, with one of the focuses being on sharing and respecting other's belongings---they were taught to take care of the toys, not purposely break or destroy them, etc. They also bought new things together, things that all the children decided on and items that could be enjoyed by all. They were not always expensive items or toys either, sometimes even things that were picked up at a yard sale. This really seemed to work well for their household and there has been much less heartache lately!! I hope this advice helps. Good luck!